Alone in a crowd

As a Christmas non-celebrator, this time of year has historically been fairly uneventful for me. The extra holidays from work are nice to have but with no need to buy any presents or get together for a family gathering, it's usually quite a mundane few days. Add the general cold and wintry weather to the mix and as holidays go, they're not the greatest.



This year has been somewhat different. Having moved out of the family home and moved job, I found myself spending the last few days in a very solitary environment. This, despite being in London and surrounded by millions of noisy people. The simple fact being that none of those millions were the people I know or care about so might as well have not been there.

By way of explanation: I'd leave early in the morning for work where the rest of my team was away and our current temporary location is such that we're not in the open plan area so we're visually cut off from everyone else in the building. The social highlights of my work day would be a regular morning conference call and also lunch where I'd briefly chat to the Lebanese shop-owner making my chicken wrap. The rest of the day would be spent mostly in silence after which I'd head to the gym (to undo the effects of the chicken wrap) and eventually take a bus back to Hounslow while watching Netflix. Upon arrival, I'd have a meal then eventually reach the house in the late night - thus minimising the time in my loft. The loft is comfortable but I can't help but feel that being stuck in it is a little like being in prison. I also ate more cake and biscuits this week than is usual for me.

All in all a very solitary week in which I felt particularly ghost-like - existing but having minimal significance. You may be able to tell that I'm not totally fond of being alone. In the event, I found myself using social media a lot more than I have done since starting my new job. The most obvious motivation for this is that I was making an effort to replace the real-world social contact with the poor substitute of online interaction.

I say poor substitute because on the one hand it enables me to stay in touch with a much larger group of people around the world and comes with more control as I can switch on and off as and when I please, but on the downside it's a whole lot easier to pretend things are great while wallpapering over the cracks of my general malaise, sadness and discontent. Not a healthy long term solution as despite the progression of online interactions, it's just not the same as a real, living, breathing person to interact with. That's not to say any random person would do. I'd happily avoid talking to numerous people, but with the right person, even silently sitting on a bus-stop bench and watching the traffic go by is a moment to cherish.

That said, even a poor substitute is better than no substitute, so if you are feeling alone and not enjoying the extra holidays or this time of year, don't feel embarrassed or ashamed about being so - you're most definitely not the only one. There are people who will want to hear from you so share your thoughts, share your feelings, make your prayers and keep a positive outlook.

It's at times like this that I'm reminded of the amazing story of my namesake Prophet Yusuf/Joseph (peace be upon him) where after having been betrayed and flung to die at the bottom of a well/pit by his own brothers with no probability of escape, at this darkest of moments he was inspired that this was not the end and great and tumultuous events were yet to happen and, most definitely, his story was far from over.

Previous Article: Sound the (Passenger) Alarm

Helping the Homeless

Walking the streets of London at this time of year you can't help but wonder at the sense of cheer that is built up by the bright lights and festive mood. The nights are long and you might well go to work in the dark, come home in the dark and see very little of the sun but that's easily forgotten when all forms of media are shouting out that we should be happy, content and spending lavishly.

When you hear about the problems that people are facing elsewhere in the world from refugees escaping parts of the Middle East and parts of Africa to Donald Trump somehow being a front runner in the Republican nomination and from terror attacks in Paris to asylum seekers living in the Calais 'Jungle' it's easy to believe that as a country, we're doing pretty well over here in the UK. And I think for the most part you'd be right. For the most part.

Take a moment to look away from the distracting lights and the less rosy parts of life begin to emerge. And they emerge right here on our doorstep.

For the past few Sunday evenings I've been going along and helping out with the Children of Adam Homeless Food Project at Lincoln's Inn Field. Every week, come rain or shine, a group of volunteers meets in Holborn to give food to homeless people and every week there's 200 or so homeless people who queue up to receive. Crisis puts the total homeless numbers in London at around eight thousand in a city of eight million so there's a lot of people who hopefully find somewhere else to get food.

I've learned quite a lot from even my minimal activity with the project. When I first went along I had an image in my head of what a homeless person would look like - an image that had been built up from media I'd consumed and my own uncharitable imagination. Rough looking men wearing ill-fitting, unkempt and mismatched clothing was what I imagined. Upon seeing the crowd of homeless people queueing though, I was struck by an unsettling thought. There were no easily distinguishable features - they were generally dressed just like anybody else would be on a cold December evening. Put me on the other side of the volunteer table and I'd have blended right in! They were young and old, men and women, British and international, bearded and clean-shaven, quiet and loud.

What was common though was that they were appreciative that there are people who are trying to help. As they walk past the tables they're polite and friendly. Even when food runs out at the end of the evening or things go wrong there's no complaining. Just last week the stall opened 40 mins later than usual when the hot food delivery was delayed but I heard barely a murmur from the waiting crowd - some of who had already been waiting hours (the project runs on a first come, first served basis). One of the homeless folk had even brought along a ghettoblaster and put on some radio to help pass the time delay! And when we did start there were no words of recrimination - they took their food and went on their way.

I'm going to finish off with a plea - the project is always in need of volunteers (as are most charitable initiatives!). It runs on a zero-commitment, come-and-go-as-you-please volunteer basis so if you just turn up to help at 1745 on a Sunday evening, the team will find a use for you. It's not particularly glamorous (available roles include Sandwich Distributor, Coffee man, Tea man, Security and Bagger et al) The other volunteers are an interesting mix of people and you do get good banter from the volunteers and the homeless folks and I really do think it's worthwhile getting involved in this or perhaps other projects closer to you.

Food donations are welcome but better to visit and volunteer first to get an idea of what kind of food works best and how much is needed before bringing food donations. I've heard stories of a family who turned up unannounced with a thousand homemade tuna sandwiches - the vast majority of which went to waste given that at the time there were only a hundred homeless people who came!

Money donations are probably helpful as well.

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