Alone in a crowd

As a Christmas non-celebrator, this time of year has historically been fairly uneventful for me. The extra holidays from work are nice to have but with no need to buy any presents or get together for a family gathering, it's usually quite a mundane few days. Add the general cold and wintry weather to the mix and as holidays go, they're not the greatest.



This year has been somewhat different. Having moved out of the family home and moved job, I found myself spending the last few days in a very solitary environment. This, despite being in London and surrounded by millions of noisy people. The simple fact being that none of those millions were the people I know or care about so might as well have not been there.

By way of explanation: I'd leave early in the morning for work where the rest of my team was away and our current temporary location is such that we're not in the open plan area so we're visually cut off from everyone else in the building. The social highlights of my work day would be a regular morning conference call and also lunch where I'd briefly chat to the Lebanese shop-owner making my chicken wrap. The rest of the day would be spent mostly in silence after which I'd head to the gym (to undo the effects of the chicken wrap) and eventually take a bus back to Hounslow while watching Netflix. Upon arrival, I'd have a meal then eventually reach the house in the late night - thus minimising the time in my loft. The loft is comfortable but I can't help but feel that being stuck in it is a little like being in prison. I also ate more cake and biscuits this week than is usual for me.

All in all a very solitary week in which I felt particularly ghost-like - existing but having minimal significance. You may be able to tell that I'm not totally fond of being alone. In the event, I found myself using social media a lot more than I have done since starting my new job. The most obvious motivation for this is that I was making an effort to replace the real-world social contact with the poor substitute of online interaction.

I say poor substitute because on the one hand it enables me to stay in touch with a much larger group of people around the world and comes with more control as I can switch on and off as and when I please, but on the downside it's a whole lot easier to pretend things are great while wallpapering over the cracks of my general malaise, sadness and discontent. Not a healthy long term solution as despite the progression of online interactions, it's just not the same as a real, living, breathing person to interact with. That's not to say any random person would do. I'd happily avoid talking to numerous people, but with the right person, even silently sitting on a bus-stop bench and watching the traffic go by is a moment to cherish.

That said, even a poor substitute is better than no substitute, so if you are feeling alone and not enjoying the extra holidays or this time of year, don't feel embarrassed or ashamed about being so - you're most definitely not the only one. There are people who will want to hear from you so share your thoughts, share your feelings, make your prayers and keep a positive outlook.

It's at times like this that I'm reminded of the amazing story of my namesake Prophet Yusuf/Joseph (peace be upon him) where after having been betrayed and flung to die at the bottom of a well/pit by his own brothers with no probability of escape, at this darkest of moments he was inspired that this was not the end and great and tumultuous events were yet to happen and, most definitely, his story was far from over.

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