Hello from the other side

I had my first day at my new job today. After the utter shock and insensibility of the latter half of last week with Trump becoming President-Elect of the USA, my previous state of general calm had been somewhat destabilised and I was a little excited and nervous for my own new beginning at Virgin Media. In preparation for the new job I had temporarily moved over to a friend's flat in West London to make my commute a lot more manageable so along with my new job I also had a new location to add to the general feeling of change. Something to discuss in another post maybe.

I woke up early today but was a bit complacent as a result and took my time to get ready and ended up leaving a couple minutes after my planned departure time. In turn, this meant that I spent the half an hour to the office more concerned about arriving on time than about any apprehensions I might have otherwise had. This has actually happened previously and is quite an effective way of calming oneself - being more worried about punctuality so that when you do actually arrive, you're so relieved you forget to be nervous! Very useful for interviews where you can comfortably deflect any blame for lateness on to traffic/transport.

People say that first impressions are lasting impressions and I'd say I mostly agree. The first impression someone makes on you goes a long way to building trust and confidence in them and while a bad first impression can be turned around, it's definitely much easier to start off on the right foot. I'd spent the run-up to today keeping a low social profile and talking almost exclusively only to those I love and I could be totally relaxed with in an effort to save and build up my social energy for today.

The rest of the day went past quite quickly. I got to know my new team who are a very pleasant and helpful bunch of people, sorted out my various accesses and technologies, explored my new premises and was pleased to find that the contemplation/prayer room was immediately behind where my desk is. I was also very excited to discover that the cafe across the road from the office served halal food! In short, a very successful first day alhamdulillah (praise be to God) and not much to complain about beyond the poor weather. The various anxieties that came and went in the lead up to today pretty much all turned out to be non-existent and unjustified!


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Oh dear

What just happened?! I woke up this morning thinking the worst thing that could happen today was that my car might be snowed in (I'm currently in Scotland). Instead, as I checked the news expecting to read of Americans coming to their senses and of an electoral rout by Hillary, I found that Donald Trump is pretty much going to be the next President of the United States of America.

I'm about as shocked as I was for Brexit, possibly more so as I'm not in the US so not so personally aware of the issues that drive people to make such a ridiculous voting choice. 

It's all a bit too raw and too soon for me so while the result is made certain and the dust settles and the ramifications of this event become clear, I'm just going to praying super-hard.

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Clinton or Trump?

Obviously Hillary. How is this still even a question?! It is absolutely ridiculous and mind-boggling that in the latest polls Clinton and Trump are still running close.

Over the years as I've grown a little bit more aware of politics and government I've developed a healthy scepticism of politicians and world leaders. At the very basic minimum, I've realised that leaders have to make difficult choices and decisions and no one is ever going to agree with everything any of them do and they'll receive criticism from someone regardless of what they do. And that getting things done in a large organisation (or the wider world) takes diplomacy, compromise and and ability to generate consensus.

In the upcoming presidential election, the US voter has a choice. Option one is Hillary Clinton, who's been involved with government for the past 30 years and has huge amounts of experience in getting things done and keep the wheels of government rolling. There's been controversy over her use of a private email server while secretary of state which the FBI have just cleared her again of criminality.

In that 30 years, she's had to make difficult decisions with regards to government decisions, be involved with wars and is responsible for the consequences of those actions, lots of which are pretty negative (loss of life is never a good thing). But in that same time frame she's also been involved with and responsible for a number of good things. Having been part of government for that long means it's guaranteed that she'll have changed her views since the beginning of her career and also have made numerous backroom and unsavoury deals in order to get things done. There's skeletons in everyone's closet.

And the other choice is Donald Trump. A candidate with just the most outrageous public views on a whole range of minority racial and religious groups, no practical experience of government, a number of ridiculous policies, who has alienated the party he's managed to get nominated by, denied holding views thats he's documented and filmed to have held, proven himself to have a notoriously thin skin for personal attacks whilst attacking everyone else, is a businessman who lost a billion dollars in a single year and as a result hasn't paid taxes for the last 18 years whilst attacking others for allegedly not paying taxes, also hasn't published his tax returns which convention says should be done by presidential candidates and has been filmed casually discussing his preferred method of sexually assaulting women.

I repeat, how is this still a question? The choice is between these two for, in essence, the most powerful person in the world, a leader who will be taking responsibility for how the world runs for the next four years and who will have to make supremely difficult decisions. We simply cannot have a person as volatile as Trump in that hot seat. People will disagree with policies and personal positions on both sides and that will colour their opinions but even if they were both horrible people, at the very least Hillary can pretend to be a decent human being and knows what the decent and non-offensive things to say in public are. Trump's public views are incredibly divisive, offensive and dangerous.

America, please stop this ridiculousness and show the world that offence and division are not the way forward.

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Goodbye with/without regret?

I've spent the last month at work steadily working down my notice period up until today when I finally walked out of my office for the last time. It's been an interesting month, not least because I handed in my notice the day after a new person joined my team to work alongside me, but also because of the emotional rollercoaster of saying goodbye and moving on to a new circumstance.

I began the transition and handover of some of my projects to my new colleague and in doing so began to realise the actual, surprisingly impressive scale of the things I was responsible for. I had been thinking I wasn't doing all that much so my initial thought was that the handover would be done in a week and then I would be twiddling my thumbs for the rest of the month - I was quite looking forward to the relaxation! In reality, the handover went on all the way until the half an hour before I left because it turned out I was actually doing quite a lot. I was very pleased and amused by this - I'd overlooked that I had slowly built up the know-how and depth for my projects over a year and a half and become somewhat desensitised to how much I was actually doing.

On the other side of the emotional coin was the feeling of having a deadline to my relationships with the various friends I had collected through seeing and interacting with them on a daily basis. Jokes were made and banter was had, but this being the third job I would leave, I was very aware that while I might add everybody on LinkedIn, people are busy and move on quickly and only a few would end up keeping in touch and I myself would only keep in touch with a few.

I also had a leaving lunch today with colleagues who'd been on my team. At the end of the meal, following standard office tradition, I was given a gift and a card signed by numerous others from the office. Upon returning to my desk, I finished off my handover activity and then scratched around for things to delay my departure so I could stay around my friends for a little longer. But I didn't have anything left to do and they did have things to do so I called it a day, said my goodbyes and left the building.

I read the card on the way home and some of the comments were touchingly personal and some were expectedly general ("Good luck Yusuf!") but still nice to see and made it even more of an emotional wrench to have said goodbye.

I had made my choice to leave a month previously when I had accepted my next job and I handed my notice in but as with any kind of change I wondered whether I handled things correctly, whether I had done the best I could and whether there were things I might have done differently? There is an emotional cycle to change and even if you end up where you were hoping to be, the human mind loves to play "What If...?" games.

You can always imagine that there might have been a better outcome, or if you'd tried harder, you could have avoided having to leave or change your situation. Or look at the upcoming uncertainty and imagine it's going to be totally terrible and being to regret having made the decision. There's a quote which is (mistakenly) attributed to Mark Twain: "Some of the worst things in my life never even happened". The human mind is a powerful thing and imagined, unlikely and hypothetical scenarios can put you off making good decisions.

From my perspective, I had made my decision based on the knowledge available to me at the time and with the realisation that maintaining the status quo has repercussions just as changing the situation does. The future is always uncertain and regardless of whether you do a particular thing or do not, circumstances will change around you and you'll end up with regrets either way for what might have been if you made the opposite decision.

I had also done Istikhara (Islamic Guidance Prayer), the meaning of which is particularly beautiful and reassuring. I've pasted the second half of it below, but in essence you're requesting assistance from God to help you be certain that you've made the right decision, to be pleased with the outcome and free you from the consuming burden of regret. And that is freedom is a great mental state to have when making decisions.

O Allah! If in Your Knowledge [this matter] be good for my faith (Deen), for my livelihood, and for the consequences of my affairs, then ordain it for me, and make it easy for me, and bless me therein. But if in Your Knowledge, [this matter] be bad for my faith (Deen) for my livelihood, and for the consequences of my affairs, then turn it away from me, and turn me away therefrom, and ordain for me the good wherever it be, and cause me to be pleased therewith.


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Qibla and reliance on technology

Qibla app not quite working as it should

I was sat at my computer at work this afternoon when up popped a new email notification. It turned out to be a message from another of the Muslims in the office stating the direction of the Qibla (Mecca) along with a couple of maps as supporting evidence. I was mildly surprised - it was a little out of the blue as there had been no previous discussion of the issue and so far as I knew the direction I and others prayed in was well known and consistent. I bemusedly shrugged it off as the sender being a little bored and quickly forgot about it.

Later in the afternoon I remembered I hadn't prayed Zuhr (early afternoon prayer) and upon checking the time realised I only had a few minutes in which to do so. I hurriedly left my desk and went down to the first aid/prayer room and found myself a little disgruntled to see a man already using the sink for wudhu (ablutions). Didn't he know I was running late? I waited for him to finish and quietly chatted to the other man in the room and immediately as the sink became available, I performed wudhu. So far nothing out of the ordinary. 

But once I'd finished I turned to ask the first chap if we could pray in jamaat (as a group in congregation) and spotted that he'd placed his prayer mat in slightly the wrong direction. He wasn't out by much but I informed him he wasn't quite oriented properly - to which he responded that he was. The other guy in the room agreed with me and we both suggested that he should orient himself in the direction I indicated and I placed my prayer mat on the ground to show him what we meant.

He said no and whipped out his phone to show us a Qibla compass app which pointed in the direction he was facing and said another person had also done the same thing with their phone and they'd both gotten the same direction. At this point I understood why the email had been sent out earlier - someone else must've had this same discussion and not been impressed with obstinacy. It was not a new discussion to me - Qibla direction is a fairly common discussion point and in fact, shortly after I joined the company I myself had spent a chunk of time with architect's floorplans and Google maps and Qibla direction websites to identify to my own satisfaction which direction Mecca was in.

But with only a few minutes left in which to pray, I didn't have time to argue and explain the problems that phone compass sensors have inside buildings where they're surrounded by metal objects and electromagnetic-field-generating electrical devices or the previous discussions that had been had or the various lengths people (including myself) had gone to to work out the direction to our best understanding. His app had said this was the direction and his faith in technology was strong and stubborn and without freedom of time, I yielded the discussion and got on with the prayer united in congregation and his chosen direction.

Reliance on technology has become a way of the world with ever more devices, machines and apps that take care of all the details, big and small. They take away a lot of stress and make life a lot easier and we end up so reliant on them that we only notice when they break down. This isn't usually a problem - I'm perfectly happy to take a train to work, drive a car, use my phone as my alarm clock or type up a blog post on a computer. Technology as a tool is great but technology as a source of information is a whole other can of worms. 

The first claim to state is that information is only ever as good as the source. A known liar is no good as a source and a stranger shouldn't be taken at face-value. In day to day life, we laugh at people who use the Daily Mail as their evidence for stories and universities won't even accept Wikipedia as a citable source because, despite its sometimes overwhelming range and detail, the source of information on the website is unknown. Knowing what has gone into producing a piece of information is vital to being able to trust it. 

A couple of days ago I came across an interesting article on the BBC about how mathematical models are being used to score defendants on their likelihood to commit crime. The article mentions how the algorithm/model behind the scoring is a black-box secret. Yet it's apparently being used to decide whether a person is guilty or a crime or not. As someone who works in 'big data' this sets off all my alarm bells. If in my consultative work I built a model without explaining how it worked I'd be laughed out of the meeting room! Yet here is a live example of people making sentencing decisions based on "Computer says 'Yes'". 

In the case of the Qibla app above, the man had downloaded the app but didn't have an understanding of how it worked. It gave him an answer to a question he had and so far as he was concerned it had to be the right answer as it was a machine. Never mind that people were telling him otherwise. Just didn't occur to him that a machines can go wrong if the inputs are wrong. The image at the start of this post show just how wrong apps can be.

At the Saturday School I volunteer at, I get supremely infuriated and irritated when the A level students are using their calculators for the simplest calculations. I often confiscate them when I see them using a calculator to work out 1^2 or when they're confused after typing in a calculation and getting a different solution to the answer-sheet - "they're using a calculator so it must be correct and the answer-sheet wrong" - without realising they've actually typed the input numbers correctly.

It's a worrying trend that as technology gets more and more complicated, fewer and fewer people understand how it works and are happy to take it on blind faith that it works properly. The only real way to fight the trend is to get educated and learn more about the technology that controls you and the world around you and to be constantly aware that even the best machine is only as good as its input - what do you know of the input?

To quote Arthur Weasley in Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets "What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain.”

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Noor Tagouri and a needless dose of outrage

I came across a little storm on the internet over this recent weekend, Noor Tagouri - an American Muslim broadcaster in her early twenties was apparently interviewed by Playboy magazine as a Renegade/rising star in broadcast media (I'm not linking to it but I'm sure if you really wanted to find it, you could). She has an online following on Instagram and Twitter like any nascent celebrity should and proudly and vocally wears the hijab/scarf. This last bit is important to note to understand the storm.

Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about Noor Tagouri and hadn't heard of her until this week and this is all from Google as she's not a serious enough celebrity yet to have her own Wikipedia page. I haven't read the Playboy interview either as I want to approach this from the theoretical point of view of the standard angry Twitter user/keyboard warrior.

This is Noor Tagouri. Image taken from Aquila Style

The little storm I mentioned is the storm that's blown up over whether, as a hijab-wearing Muslim woman who has pursued a life direction which puts her in the public eye, Noor should have agreed to be interviewed by Playboy magazine - a magazine which is world renowned for its appeal to the baser needs of men. It's also caused people who were comfortable and complacent in their own practice and life to ask questions of what hijab means.

My own personal view on the matter is that I don't really care. This is a stance I take on most celebrity news stories so there's nothing new here.

It is interesting though to observe the storm that's developed amongst the online Muslim community. Based on the number of different articles and sources I've seen posted, it's definitely generated a lot of commentary and a large number of strong opinions being formed by what seems to be all sides. For example, there's people saying she's being a brave Muslim and others calling her a disgraceful Muslim, some saying that it's raising and normalising hijab awareness and other saying it makes a mockery of the hijab.

Controversy by its very definition is divisive and polarises opinion. But controversy is also very fascinating and as a PR move this episode has certainly raised awareness of Noor in the Muslim community. With the wider public who pay attention to such matters, this will help Noor break further into being seen as mainstream personality. But my feeling is that most of the casual 'readers' of Playboy magazine likely won't be paying attention to the magazine text so possibly awareness with these fellows will be limited.

From what I can observe people on both sides of the 'debate' are stirred by the same thing: Noor has taken her Islamic hijab to places it wouldn't be expected. Some call it brave and support her, others call it unnecessary and don't support her. Others still call it dangerous and a betrayal and vilify her.

Playboy is known for its exploitation of immodesty so it's a fair question to ask if a person pushing a modest agenda should feature in it (for an interview not a risqué photoshoot). Seemingly it's a direct contradiction with the modest purpose of the hijab. You can have your opinion and form your own judgement on this question. The simplicity of the question also makes it a very easy one with which to take one of multiple moral high grounds and there's nothing people like more than seizing the moral high ground.

The pro-moral high ground is that she's done it to challenge stereotypes and make the hijab more mainstream in the USA and to show that Muslim women are empowered and boost awareness and improve mainstream attitudes towards Islam.

The anti-moral high ground is that her actions are not modest and she has a young, impressionable following and by associating with a famously immodest magazine she's undermining what it means to be an empowered Muslim woman and also going against Islamic teaching and practice of modesty.

In this instance, both sides have a reasonable case and which particular moral high ground you take you really depends on your own whim and circumstance and your attitude to being outraged. The anti- high ground offers more opportunity for outrage and personal feeling so it's unsurprising that lots of people have taken this stance. The pro- high ground requires a more circumspect view and offers less immediate outrage gratification but allows you to get outraged at the stance that the anti- moral high grounders have taken.

I personally find it hard to get outraged anymore in the modern world we live in where hyperbole and extreme reaction are becoming more and more normal.

I don't feel strongly about this issue at all but I'd say Noor should live her life based on what she feels is right and not be worried about what her more outspoken followers would like her to do based on the lives that they lead. Whatever she does, people will talk and judge and she'll have to live with whatever the worldly outcome may be and the departure or arrival of followers and supporters.

Her intention is her own though and, according to Islamic tradition, that will be judged by Allah (God). The rest of us can comment and criticise or support or not care either way and, so long as comment is respectful, let the non-outraged discussions and explorations continue!

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YMLP Reunion 2016

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Some of you may remember that last year I was lucky enough to go on the Young Muslim Leadership programme. If you don't you can read a little about it on my post at the time. I met amazing people while on the course and made firm friends with a lot of them and our cohort WhatsApp group is still as active as it was last year. In fact, last week's Wedding Speech post was from the wedding of a friend I made on the programme.

Each year, the organisers (Oxford Centre of Islamic Studies) hold an Alumni day where all previous participants are invited back to Oxford for a day of hobnobbing with the Centre staff/facilitators and also meet the current programme participants. Having had a great experience of it last year, I was very pleased when my invitation came through and over the following weeks co-ordinated with other members of my cohort to plan our transport and attendance. The car journey to Oxford with Jamilla and Ashraf was packed full of drama with lateness and some very memorable conversation that really made the miles fly by.

On arrival in Oxford we wandered into the Centre where we were pleasingly met by various facilitators whom we recognised from our time last year who briefly explained the format of the day - that we should take a name badge, sign up to attend the talks in the afternoon and have a good day. Scanning the name badges to find your own was a fun little exercise - each name I recognised gave me a small stab of happiness.

We'd arrived almost at the scheduled starting time and so were ushered toward the main hall for the day's activities where we were greeted by Dr Farhan Nizami (Centre Director) and Dr Asma Mustafa (primary facilitator) and welcomed with tea and biscuits. A quick game of I-spy ensued as I tried to spot familiar faces in the gathering crowd. My own purposes for attending was to reconnect with friends and people I already knew rather than make new acquaintances but I recognised enough people to keep me happy.

Eventually the formal proceedings began with an introduction and welcome by Dr Nizami followed by a series of short talks by various Alumni who wanted to share experiences and projects that they were working on. Some were more interesting than others depending on your personal interests. After this there was a session where we were informed of the existence of an Alumni Advisory Group and people who had ideas on how to go about setting up an alumni network were asked to share. A fair chunk of this session seemed to be a re-run of the previous year's discussions though I think this time round the output will hopefully be more tangible. The chairperson for the session was adamant that he would eat into our lunch break - an intention which I heartily disapproved of.

Eventually though, we did finish and had lunch followed by Dhuhr prayer in the Centre's prayer hall which really is a very beautiful room. Lunch is always a good time to chat and catch up with people and this one was no exception. I was able to talk to various people in the queue and at the table, including the Registrar Richard Makepeace and got into an in-depth and stimulating discussion about business and careers with one of the alumni from the very first YMLP cohort. I left lunch with my hunger sated but with lots of food for thought.

The talks began after lunch but YMLP encourages free-thinking so I and a few others instead decided we'd prefer to chat and explore the building and gardens. We did this for an hour or so and had a great time of it catching up with the various people we bumped into after which we were joined by everybody else on their break between talks. During the break we took a great big group photo and as the break came to an end, rather than join the second set of talks, the same handful of free-thinkers said our goodbyes, meandered our way to the exit and quietly departed.

All in all it was a fantastic day and a thoroughly enjoyable reminder of our fortnight and the friendships we made and the endless possibilities of life.

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