Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Yusuf's Guide to Living - Episode 5 - Judgement

It's been a while since the last episode and while I could claim that it was simply a mid-season break, the real reason is that life went on strike and nothing noteworthy really happened that I was comfortable sharing with the wider public. "What wider public?" I hear you ask. Well, according to the pageview statistics, this blog is more frequently visited than the Google homepage.
Figures in 000,000s
During the hiatus, I've had lots of ideas suggested to me - quite a few of which were promising but for one reason or another I never got round to writing anything down. Sometimes it was because it wasn't really my own story or it wasn't something that would lend itself to an article format. 
However, during this time of turmoil I spoke regularly with my mentor, Alpha Golden, who advised me that although the twilight was here now, it would be broken by a new moon and there would eventually be a breaking dawn - that just like an eclipse, when it happened it would happen suddenly. 


To me this didn't seem like good advice. If anything, it sounded like he'd been watching too much Hollywood but I ignored myself and asked for further advice.


"Alpha," I began, "I've been making good progress on achieving greatness. I find myself standing in all kinds of places, sometimes even when there's no one around."




"Ah, you are learning well, my friend," said Alpha.


"That's good to know. But I'd like to know more about what else I can do?"


"That is a good question. I will tell you what you can do. In fact, I will tell you tomorrow."


"Oh. Hmm, why not now?", I curiously asked.


"Because that which we wait for is more worthy."


"Just tell me now" I insisted.


"OK, OK. Fine. To become king of the trains, all you need to do is carry a book. A man carrying a book is obviously well-read and cultured. He is informed and does not wish to waste his time on idle chatter nor on idleness. But not just any book. The book must be one that many people have heard of but few have read. Those that have read it will see you and think Ah, there's a clever man. And those that haven't will think Oooh, that man must be very intelligent. This is what you will pretend to be. And all you have to do is find an appropriate book."


I spent a few minutes thinking about various books and eventually logged on to Play.com where I ran a search for "The Count of Monte Cristo". As I scrolled down the list of results, making sure to filter for only books, I decided to go with the book with the best cover design. I saw an edition I liked the look of and clicked to buy. "£5.99 for 1,312 pages and adding an untold amount of greatness? Bargain." I thought.


A gentleman's novel




A few days later I received a parcel from Play.com. I was a little surprised by the parcel as it appeared to be a little differently sized than I expected. I opened it to find the book as pictured on the website and it was then that I learned that the phrase "Never judge a book by its cover" was actually applicable in real life.



Good so far


A little thinner than expected

Plus or minus 1,300?

I think I'm more of a level 5 or 6 on the Easystarts scale